An Obama Question

Perhaps I spend too much time among politicians for my own good, but I have a question.

Right after Obama gets to the White House, Congress is going to say, "Thanks for all the stirring speeches about unity and bipartisanship and all, but f*** you, we aren't going along with Plan Yes We Can." Here's what I want to know -- what is Plan B?

The Other Side of the Ticket

Here's what the opposition looks like --



Let's not allow this to happen.

Friday Five -- What Are You Doing For Lent?

Ready or not, Lent is upon us! This week's Friday Five is from Mother Laura at RevGalBlogPals.

1. Did you celebrate Mardi Gras and/or Ash Wednesday this week? How?

I spent Tuesday evening at a largely Quaker retirement village. My hostess told me that dinner would be a traditional Mardi Gras feast, then looked at me as if I was nuts when I said how much I love pancakes. The menu was catfish and gumbo and bread pudding with praline sauce, and it was delicious. Still, the Shrove Tuesday Pancake Supper is my tradition, even if the food is not as exciting as the Mardi Gras menu.

2. What was your most memorable Mardi Gras/Ash Wednesday/Lent?

The most memorable Shrove Tuesday was the year we made too many pancakes and too much sausage. The Youth Group, which hosted the Pancake Supper, solved the problem by having a sausage-eating contest. I won. Blech! What a tummy-ache.
The most memorable Ash Wednesday was when I was in about 7th Grade. I insisted that my parents drive me to the Ash Wednesday service. I can still remember the dry chalky feel of the ash on my forehead. The silky ash that sometimes forms in our fireplace can transport me back there in an instant. The depth of my adolescent piety was just as gawky as everything else about me at age 13, but the feeling that I was participating in something ancient, along with my dawning sense that belief was about suffering as well as joy, was a transforming experience.
The most memorable Lent was in 1981. My father died suddenly at age 42 just after Ash Wednesday. (I was 20.) The images of loss, grief and loneliness during Lent were so strong for me that year, I couldn't bear to go to church at all during Lent or Holy Week. I thought that Easter would make me feel better, but the Resurrection story and readings for the Easter season were just as piercing. I sat in the back pew on Sundays so that I could escape when it got to be too much.

3. Did you/your church/your family celebrate Lent as a child? If not, when and how did you discover it?

See above.

4. Are you more in the give-up camp, or the take-on camp, or somewhere in between?

A little of each. My participation in Lenten discipline has waxed and waned over the years, and I have been in a waning period recently. One of my daughters loves Lent and we often go to church together on Wednesday evenings.

5. How do you plan to keep Lent this year?

My parish hosts weekly Lenten dinners after the Wednesday evening service -- homemade soup, salad and freshly baked bread. Simple and delicious. I don't usually stay for the class afterward. I hope to attend at least two or three of these, though work and family responsibilities make it difficult.

2008 Reading Challenge - January - Part 2

Here is the remainder of the list of books I read in January -- I think I need a little fiction for February!

101 Things I Learned in Architecture School -- Matthew Frederick

It's only 101 pages long, and I keep thinking I'm finished with it, but then I come back to it again. I am fascinated by the interplay of our interior experiences and the external world -- not only how we respond visually to images, but also how we respond to spaces. How does a building feel holy or home-like or bureaucratic or majestic? Frederick conveys the work of architects both as nitty-gritty how-to, like his suggestion that plans and drawings be rolled with the drawing surface on the outside so that they'll lie flat when laid out on a table; and aesthetic theory, like his observation that an appreciation for asymmetrical balance demonstrates a capacity for higher-ordered thinking. He covers everything from how to draw a straight line a discussion of ego and design.

Eat, Pray, Love -- Elizabeth Gilbert

The jury is still out on this one. Reading it felt indulgent and a little escapist, but I loved the descriptions of Italy. I enjoyed the sojourn in India a bit less, and by the time Gilbert reached Bali, I lost interest, and only got to the end so that I could find out how her journey ended. She's a terrific food writer and travel diarist, and a few sections of the book are laugh-out-loud funny, but I'm not adding it to my list of great spiritual memoirs.

Microtrends -- Mark Penn

January must have been my month for books that could be read in small, small bites. Mark Penn is a well-known pollster and the man who defined the term "soccer moms" in time for the 1992 election. Here, he examines the niches of American society, and instead of "soccer moms," he brings us "cougars," middle-aged women who date younger men. Hmmm . . . wonder if that's what happened to the soccer moms.

How to Cook Everything: Vegetarian -- Mark Bittman

Speaking of books that you read in bites, this cookbook is yummy, wonderful, and written by one of my favorite cookbook authors, Mark Bittman, who writes the New York Times weekly column "The Minimalist."



Personal Village -- Marvin Thomas

I had several conversations in a short time with people I care about who expressed a sense of loneliness and a lack of satisfying friendships. One of them asked me point-blank how I maintain a maze of personal connections. I wasn't sure how to answer, and several days later came across this book. I hoped to find a way to talk about building community that would be helpful. I found in this book an enlightening discussion of the different levels of relationship that form a full sense of community. Some people in our lives enrich us by being friendly and familiar touch points as we move through our day, and we can be the same to them. My father taught me the importance of honoring the people I encounter daily by learning their names, asking after their children, noticing their absence when they're ill or on vacation. I know the names of most of the security guards in my office building, the secretaries at the school my children attend, the mayor of our town, most of the people who work on my hall, and many of my colleagues, and they know mine. Thomas describes other levels of relationship --neighbors, friends from church, and people we socialize with occasionally. More intimate are the relationships with our closest friends and family. Thomas believes that we need some of each kind of relationship at a variety of levels of intimacy, but that each of us is better at some kinds of relationships than others. For instance, I love being part of the civic community, but I am not so great at somewhat mid-range relationships in groups, like clubs or sororities, though I know people who get tremendous satisfaction from these associations. I'm lucky to have some close friends and a family that I not only love, but enjoy spending time with.
When I had a chance to resume the conversation with one of the people who inspired the purchase of this book, I was aware that my friendliness with cab drivers and co-workers had been mistaken for more intimate friendships. The two of us then talked at length about what makes the right mix of relationships for different people, and I learned a lot about which realms of our respective social networks felt full and which felt empty. Emptiness in different areas produces very different kinds of loneliness.

On my bookshelf for February--
March -- Gwendolyn Brooks
Tin House: Graphic Issue -- Win McCormack, et al,
The Thirteenth Tale -- Diane Setterfield
Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die -- Chip Heath and Dan Heath

2008 Trying New Things Challenge

On February 15 and 16, the Little Blue State Theater Company will host a benefit performance of the Vagina Monoloques. My eighteen year old daughter, Shiny, and I are both in the cast, along with several friends. My family will be in the audience, along with the gynecological oncologist who treated me three years ago.* I expect he will learn a thing or two about the women he treats!

This is the first time I've been on stage since I played the Giant in "Jack and the Beanstalk" at Camp Carysbrook sometime in the early 1970's. (In a small-world twist, the director of "Jack and the Beanstalk" grew up to become the artistic director of the Little Blue State Theater Company where the V Monologues will be staged.)

The Vagina Monologues, were written by Eve Ensler, who interviewed hundreds of women about their bodies and their lives. The monologues will bring you to tears, both from laughter and from pain. It's grown from a one-woman show to a world wide phenomenon. Our cast is an amazingly diverse group of women ranging in age from 18 to 86, both professionals and amateurs. Experiencing this with my daughter moves me beyond words.

The community has responded enthusiastically and the Friday night show sold out immediately, so the organizers added a Saturday matinee, which is also almost sold out -- and that's with almost no advertising! I'll keep you posted as we get closer to performance time.

*My doctor just gave me a clean bill of health, so I can relax for a bit. Whew!

Friday Five -- Saints' Days and Superbowl

Friday Five- options, options edition

Sally, the birthday girl, gives us options for the Friday Five.

Superbowl -- love it or hate it?

I don't understand football, but I love the commercials. This year one of the commercials will feature a long-standing joke among the deaf community. It's amazing, and yes, it's silent.




So cool it might turn this inveterate Diet C*ke addict into a P*psi girl.

****
Candlemas/ Imbloc/ Groundhog day/ St Brigid's day- all of these fall on either the 1st or 2nd February.

1. Do you celebrate one or more of these?
No, and reading other people's answers, I am worried about my feeble ability to celebrate.

2. How?
Does meditating on Bill Murray's performance in Groundhog Day count?

3. Is this a bit of fun or deeply significant?
Actually, Groundhog Day (the movie) is fun *and* deeply significant. I can't help it; I cry when Bill Murray's character finally becomes kind and generous. And who wouldn't love to wake up every morning to Sonny and Cher singing "I Got You, Babe" with it's hurdy gurdy instrumentation.

4. Are festivals/ Saints days important to you?
I love the stories of the saints and one of my favorite things to read is the saints' biographies listed in the church calendar found here. I love the Episcopal Church's teaching that we are all saints, and that some are recognized because they are an example and inspiration to others.

5.Name your favourite Saints day/ celebration.
The Blessing of the Animals on the Feast of St. Francis. After all, I share a house with two dogs, a cat, two geckos, a bearded dragon, twenty-odd guinea fowl, and a pond full of fish.

Thank you, Sally. Happy Birthday!

2008 Reading Challenge -- Part 1

Inspired by Besomami and other blogging friends, I'm joining the 2008 Book Challenge. I've read quite a few books so far in 2008. Stay tuned tomorrow for a second installment.

Book #1

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -- J.K. Rowling

I had to wait until now to read this because Garden Girl and I (mostly Garden Girl) have been reading the entire series aloud to Sprout, age 8. I was very, very patient through volumes 1-6, reading a chapter or two each night, but once the pace picked up, I could not put The Deathly Hallows down, and so spent all of New Year's Day curled up with Harry and company.

Book #2


How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk -- Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

This book about communicating with children crosses my path every few years, and each time I am struck anew by its wisdom and usefulness. I happened to be struggling with a difficult policy issue when I read it this time, and discovered that Faber and Mazlish's approach works as well for children as it does for adults. One nugget, particularly useful in my line of work, "Instead of explanation and logic, give a child his wishes in fantasy."

Instead of This:
Explanation and Logic
Child: I want my Toast Crunchies!
Mom: We don't have any dear.
Child: I want them! I want them!
Mom: I just told you there aren't any in the house.
Mom: Have some Nifty Crispies.
Child: NO! (throws himself on floor)
Mom: Now you're acting like a baby.

Try This:
Give the Child His Wishes in Fantasy
Child: I want my Toast Crunchies!
Mom: I wish I had some in the house for you.
Child: I want them!
Mom: I hear how much you want them.
Child: I wish I had them now.
Mom: I wish I had the magic power to make a giant box appear.
Child: Well, maybe I'll have some Nifty Crispies.

(Believe it or not, this technique transformed an emotionally charged policy debate from a shouting match to something resembling civil discourse.)

Book #3

Our World -- Mary Oliver

Mary Oliver's partner Molly Malone Cook was a noted photographer and gallery owner whose death inspired Mary Oliver's most recent poetry collection, Thirst. In Our World, Cook's photos and Oliver's prose are joined in a beautiful tribute to their long and loving relationship.

Book #4

The Nine -- Jeffrey Toobin

OK, I'm a Supreme Court nerd. I read most of this book in one sitting. Jeffrey Toobin recounts the end of the Rehnquist court and the beginning of the Roberts court with deft portraits of the justices and a lucid account of how this branch of government functions -- or doesn't. It's worth reading just for Toobin's account of the court's 2000 decision in Bush v. Gore, which changed the course of our nation's history and diminished the stature of the court in the eyes of the country and the world. No other book has convinced me more completely that the 2008 election will determine the fate of liberal ideals for the next fifty years.